Rant 26: Doubt P2

I think I can confirm it for now, though I have known it for a very long time now
..I am an atheist.
There is some doubt as to the very name "atheist". Oxford dictionary says its someone who doesn't believe in the existence of God. But if I don't believe in something in the first place- which is to say, that there is absolutely no logic in my mind that can lead me to believe in a thing, then where is the question of disbelieving in the existence of it?
I guess we could also say...isn't Oxford dictionary assuming that a god exists anyway? It's very convenient for someone like God (if he did exist) to be watching us argue on his/her/its existence.
None of us starts from the fence on the question of god. we start by either calling ourselves believers or non-believers. why don't we start, say, along the lines of Bill Maher, who groups his beliefs under the word Doubt. This post is not named after his beliefs...although doubt is a way of starting off on the fence.
since we all like to appear scientific (many of us actually BEING so) in their approach to answer questions, lets conduct an experiment to find out which side of the fence we classify ourselves in.
lets base the experiment on the premise that both believing and not-believing provide some purpose or give something in return.
So....first exp.
Religion/God---> Prayers offered by people. In return, we get (if u believe in the whole divine plan/god's will etc. jazz) floods, earthquakes, not to mention exciting apostles of evil like George Bush, Dick Cheney, Adolf Hitler, Stalin. where is the proof that God told Bush to invade iraq or hitler to kill all the Jews? how fast an internet connection does the white house have?
lets add some election defeats to this (i read in a newspaper report about how it was "god's will" that a certain party had lost the recent general elections)
I wonder how all our priests have never dragged their overly-obese bodies onto the streets and shouted up to the skies "What the fuck God?"...Noooo. the obese bodies stay comfortably inside the temple, and tell everyone else "it's God's will...That's all Folks!" (tell me u didn't just picture Porky pig in Hindu garb!)
Non-believers---> Realism, i.e. Nature and Nature alone has the kind of power over us, that we can and should put any kind of faith - if u will - on. We fight disease with medicines yes, but think about it...if humans didn't pollute everything in sight, a multitude of preventable diseases would actually be prevented. I hate it when i see ads for water filtration machines on TV.
people! Industries pollute the water. Then another industry comes along to sell you that crappy filter and soon, two fat industry tycoons are joking at a party about how one of them saved millions by dumping all factory waste into the local river...and how one of them made millions by selling the crappy filter.
Have you ever noticed that when politicians talk about nuclear wars or global warming..they do so as if the planet would blow up or something.
"boo hoo! think about the earth and what all our nuclear weapons are doing to it"
"global warming...climate change ..waaah! Lets hold a G1000 summit, so we can express our grief about how no one is doing anything...which the population also does anyways, just that we do it on a more expensive and glamorous level"

Bullshit!
all that our govts probably fear is that our human race will be annhilated in all the nuclear shit etc. people...the Earth has a lot more capacity than you think. The planet's like the intelligent mother who lets her kid get dirty in the shit he's been playing in...then tells him that its socially unacceptable to go around in public like that.
whatever we manage to do to ourselves by shooting bombs, Nature will take over. You think we're more powerful than the dinosaurs? they lived for millions of years buddy! we've been around - at least the dumb-as-shit part of humanity- for no more than 3000 years tops.

Here's my solution to save the PLANET . kill the whole human race...
before that..have a look at "Life after People" (google it)

Rant 25: All smiles eh?

Our ICIS Team on the last day of a client visit by Lewis Harper
(back row R2L) Lewis Harper, Vikas Pandey, Gareth Murray, Me
(front row R2L) Shruthi, Namitha, Lekshmi, Aneesha

Rant 23: Sexual Orientation

Ive heard of Homosexuality - being attracted sexually to members of the same sex
and of course Heterosexuality - being attracted to members of the opposite sex

I wonder...
Is there an orientation where you are not attracted to member of either sex?

Rant 22 : enlightening experiences

a very curious incident
The concept of Open Bars is not so Open in Delhi as someone from Manipal might expect. Still your's truly had been jonsing for a drink ever since the abstinence period began dated 25th May...
hence I stepped out for a beer today evening at the local wine and beer shop that seemingly only sells the liquor. Of course, being Indians and Delhiites that we currently are, the public casually enjoys their drinks just a few feet outside of the shop.
The most interesting aspect of this is...the waiter service...and no I'm not talking about the white coat clad clods who constantly enquire if you want anything else even though what you have on your plate is worth a grand or more...
I'm talking about the ragged bunch of juveniles who run around opening liquour bottles for customers having their drink then and there. These street urchins are there to collect empty bottles and sell them back for no more than Rs 3 per bottle. They help you out by opening your beer bottles (the liquour shop surprisingly doesn't own a bottle opener) and providing matchsticks for the smoking crowd.
I happened to catch some of these urchins as I chugged 0ff a bottle of KF in front of the very same shop.
The first of them was a tiny little mite. I asked him for his name and the meekest of voices replied "Sujeet". Aged just 8, as i found out, I barely had time for the latter question before he scampered off to collect the bottle of the latest customer to finish his chugging. The urchins are unique in that they have developed street skills that no self-proclaimed goonda-figure of colleges and schools can ever match up to. They sell the empty bottles back to two other boys who collect these bottles to sell back to waste godowns.
Imagine 7 year olds bargaining for a single friggin rupee and you might just get an idea of how pointless our own extravagnce is. Needless to say, my own light headed conscience was pricked at the very sight of that.
All of these urchins had to deposit their bottle collections for the evening to the two main (and older) boys at the location.
The first of THESE boys who actually collected the bottles from all the street urchins, was Gurucharan. "Solah-satarah saal" (16-17 years) was his reply when asked for his age. I couldn't help but probe on and he seemed quite at ease with telling me that his dream was to become an Inspector. He attends school in the morning and works at this bottle-collection in the evening. Quite remarkable!
His companion in this is Manju and his story is even more amazing.
I refuse to believe that a guy who alternates between attending school in the morning and collecting bottles in the evening has no dreams of his own.
When asked what his ambition was, Manju vehemently replies, "I want to join the Army."
To put it literally in his own words ..."Main desh ke liye jaan dey sakta hoon aur jaan ley bhi sakta hoon"
(For my country, I can give my life and take a life too)
Believe me when I say, I was full-power dumbstruck when I heard this. Pure testament to the patriotism that perhaps each and every Indian feels in his/her heart.
BTW...if you think that these older boys somehow cheat the younger urchins then consider that the former sell the overall bottle collections at no more than 3 Rs and 50 p per bottle (50 p profit i.e.)
The final weird incident came when I was just about to ask Manju what his father did for a living. Sadly, I don't know that, because at that very moment I felt my own shirt collar being violently lifted up and also saw Manju's in a similar position.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the THOLA, or Delhi Police had caught me in the "dreadful" act of consuming Beer. I'm still not sure what Manju's crime was, but nevertheless.
The really strange part is, I had been pulled up by a guy in Plainclothes.
Of course, since I am a journalist now, I had the full right to ask him who he was and what right a plainclothes guy had to pull me up like that, but seeing as he literally dragged me towards a full flegded Vardi (uniform) clad Cop, I had to assume otherwise.
Golden words from the cop when I tried asking him what my actual fault was : "Neta mat ban " Dont be a politician
(in Punjabi accent mind you!)

Of course, I am a hot headed guy at times, but seeing as some people think its wrong or maybe immoral to oppose immoral behaviour in the first place (talking to many of my family members here)...
I'll leave the decision making to you guys.
Personally, I wanted to sock the guy in plainclothes.....let the bloody courts decide who's guilty and who's not. This is not some CBI investigation that requires cops to be in plainclothes so they can outsmart the bad guys. If you want to catch criminals do it in the proper attire AT LEAST!.....
bloody corrupt cops....I learned later that this sort of "criminal catching" takes place only once ever week or so and only when there is an issue of lesser hafta (otherwise known as bribe).
Maa kassam...If only i had the resources of Naseeruddin Shah in the movie A Wednesday....
public officials probably dont realise that the public also can lose it one day........m waiting eagerly for such a day in my life!
Many thanks to the corrupt cops for finally bringing out the anarchist in me!
Cheerio!

Rant 21: realisations

Ive come to the very very late realisation:-
that girls and boys have the same level of sexual desire...the difference lies
1) Boys want sex....period ...and maybe a porsche, since I (in particular) am aiming for the stars anyway
2) Girls want sex...and a house...and Jewellery...and TV...marriage of course...and K serials...and Kids...and once the guy has lost all sanity...maybe a Porsche (after all...she was promised the moon alongwith Orion's belt)

I give up....
to quote a more intelligent chimp than your's truly, "sab moh maya hai"

Rant 20: Funny shit!

There are few books that have the capacity to make you feel as if you were "dumbing down" on

your own somehow. One of them is this

gem of a piece called "Vikram Betal Stories".

In a weird sense, I picked up this book at a bus stand in Manipal, in hopes of havng something to pass the time with on a 1.5 hr bus trip to Mangalore, badly spotted with Potholes.

disclaimer: this book has been written by Er. BG Ramesh (who knows what Er stands for?) and published by Ganesh Publications Bangalore,

any complaints of nausea, diarrhoea, cancer, aids, brain haemmorage after reading the afore mentioned book (if you actually manage to get your hands on one...and actually buy it), should be directed at the concerned parties mentioned above.

The first story goes thus,

A King, from the town of Varanasi, with a completely unpronouncable name, has a son, with an equally unpronouncable name (guess it runs in the family) and this dude befriends the son of the court minister, who has an equally....oh forget it!

hhhanyways...the duo set off on a forest ride together on horses (if Vivid video is reading this then good for porn industry) and reach a lake. Here they see a lovely woman bathing. She turns to them and with a single glance, both king and lady fall in love...

fineee..makes sense so far.

here are three actions that the lady performs afterwards:-

1) takes Jasmine flower from bunch on head and puts it on her ear.

explanation by gay son of minister: it means she is the countr y ruled by Karnotpala

2) she takes out one more flower and bites it

explanation by GSM: she is the daughter (and a kinky one at that) of an artisian who works on ivory

3) she wore a lotus flower on her hear and kept her hand on her chest (ok now this is getting way out of hand...VIVID...ARE YOU GETTING THIS??)

explanation: she wore lotus that means her name is Padmavati and hand on chest means she loves you (not to mention she likes second base)

immediately the brave son of king (SOK) sets of for the the far land of karnotpala and encounters the maid of his beloved at an inn (no doubt the old lady has a lot to work for!)

she is sent by said brave SOK to tell the girl of his feelings,

here's the funniest bit

again we have three solid actions performed by the woman that take the cake in terms of stupidity.

1) she slaps the old woman, 2 hands 10 fingers et al, and somehow the SOK figured out her fingerprints and guessed that she wanted to wait 10 more days

2) she slaps the lady with 3 fingers and sends her back...no prizes on what this sms meant.

3) the third time she tells the lady to tell the SOK to come to her house but only by a rope ladder and whisk her away...bollywood style it seems!

wow! nymohomaniac and socially dysfunctional tendencies...must be real good

Lastly by a cunning plan that involved stealing her jewels and disguising the GSM as a hermit (as if he couldn't get gay-er) the SOK manages to "nobly" win over the woman

The End...

there were 24 more stories in this book.

It is not my book anymore...because...it is in the waste basket.

My sanity is not worth this crap.

I don't know why I picked it up.

I don't know why I'm still blogging about it...

Rant 19: Street focus # P2

Its almost like a trend now here in Manipal. On the one hand, the University supposedly has a Green Policy (posters can be found in all MIT hostels, half torn half the time of course!) These posters tell the students a lot about what can be done to save water through your morning ablutions. It's detail is good esp when you consider they built the damn hostels...

hhhanyway!

the other side of the story unfolds here....

the trend of tree trimming or tree pruning or tree felling...whatever the heck you wanna call it. It seems, MU doesn't care how many trees they cut down either to build new buildings, hostels or simply cos it "looks good"

Warning...pictures may be too graphic for avid nature lovers...viewer discretion is advised!

timber!!!...and how

that's how and all for this

i guess this one's for the waste basket

If you're thinking that MU at least got a building out of this and thus it's justified etc etc then wait...

the next story

is about a few more fallen trees

deep in the heart of MIT Hostels

apparently, doing things like this, makes our place look better

Now I ask you

for better or worse?

In the spirit of our fantastic 24X7 news channels

Co-CONSPIRATOR NUMBER ONE Co-CONSPIRATOR NUMBER TWO

the men behind it...MU staff

Joke of the Day...a ONE rupee fine