Rant 16: UNDERSTANDING love in Manipal

We were returning from our weekly visit to the great alcohol dispensary called THALLOORS, a bar/restaurant (not to be confused with the new and improved Thalloors, which is basically an Open Bar) and lost in our own trips of bliss. Out of nowhere, came this theory which caught us all quite off guard.
His perspective (seconded by another equally in the realms of alcholic ecstacy) was based on one single concept: Understanding. The sermon began something like this:-
"Dude...love in manipal is all about understanding. The guy and the girl understand each other, then it's love. for example an ugly guy and an ugly girl. what do they have in common?" I muttered a meek, "Understanding." "exactly!" came the strong reply.
Whoa! rather a Zen thing isn't it? anyway, I decided to ponder on it later and listened on as the speech continued: "Sexy guy, sexy girl...what do they have in common?...understanding. It's very obvious. Based on the financial capacity of the male partner, the sum of love shared between two people is directly proportional to the square of understanding between them.
OKAY! now considering that this noble soul had sporadically managed passable marks in mathematics, it was hard to grasp the sense in the formula that he rattled off. He realised that the latter part had skillfully evaded our heads and proceeded to explain in detail. this time he used a pen and a paper (which just happened to be the bill of our binging spree)
"Check this, i'll write it down so it makes sense"

L=k(U^2)+M

i guess this is what's implied. though i'm not much of a mathematician either. he explained that L stood for Love, U for Understanding and M for the all important binding factor...Money!

At this point, your's truly applied some magical mathematical sense and said, "wait, isn't the variable M given as a constant. Are you saying money is constant in any relationship?"

"No, the actual amount of money spent during a relationship may be different for different couples, but essentially, they revolve around a constant factor."

"Which is?"

"How much whipping the good boy is willing to endure and of course how much of a "return on Investment" he can expect after the actual spending etc is done. He will naturally spend depending on that."

"makes sense i guess..."

" you'e damn right it does. and wait, it's not over, there's more...see if you differentiate on both sides, then you end up with an equation that...."

At this point me and 2 other mates shut his mouth and dragged him back to Thalloors!